Exergue (esprit_blanc) wrote in personabeauty,

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Call me Sar

I'm Sarah. I'm sixteen, I'm Egyptian; I was born and raised in Ann Arbor, Michigan, US and moved to Al Ain, United Arab Emirates when I was nine. I still live here, but in a different city and with noone but my Mom, as opposed to the foursome my family was upon moving here. My folks were divorced soon after I turned eleven, and my Dad moved back to Michigan where he now has a new family. My brother is five years older than me and, well, he's not part of my life anymore and I hope it stays that way. :)

Spending this vital stage of my life in the UAE is not easy. For those reading this not in the know, it's sixty percent foreign expatriates from all over the globe, primarily the rest of the Middle East and the UK, as well as the rest of Europe. Expatriates that live here as though they were kings and queens while in their home countries they would be the butt of any community. This all makes for a rather artificial atmosphere.

I currently live in Sharjah, which is a conservative Islamic state about fifteen minutes away from Dubai, one of the world's biggest commercial cities. It serves as a good example of why I dislike life in the UAE. Dubai is subdivided according to your race or culture. For example, if you live in Karama, you're assumed to be from the Indo-Pak subcontinent. If you live in Jumairah, you're assumed to be British or any other North Europe/USA National. If you live in the Old City, areas such as Deira, Riqqa, Garhoud and Mirdiff, the options are more varied, and you're mor elikely to be an Arab. It's not only the racial complications of the population here that bothers me. It's also my options as a student. But there's no point in going into that. Life as a teenager around here is just devoid of all the curious fun I attach to the romantic ideal of an adolescent female.

I'm very much into literature of all sorts. I particularly enjoy reading Decadent novels and Romantic poetry of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. I'm more familiar with twentieth century literature (particularly American Modernist stuff) because I spent a good three years exploring that era, but I'm starting to lean more enthusiastically towards the earlier times. Some of my all-time favorite authors and poets are John Steinbeck, Oscar Wilde, Sylvia Plath, Arthur Rimbaud, Stephen King, William Blake, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Lord Byron, Keats, Virginia Woolf, George Orwell, Aldous Huxley and Albert Camus. Quite random ordering, but bear with me. :)

Apart from reading and writing, I'm a music lover (of sorts). While my appreciation and regard for music stretches across the popular recorded music realm quite far and beyond, and I set no standards for music to impress, please or enchant me, I yet maintain a strong love for extreme metal. This is probably due to being raised on my Dad's vinyl record collection (which is by now, I hear, consuming the whole of a large bedroom by itself in my Father's new house). My Dad was himself a lifelong fan of progressive and classic heavy metal bands, as well as some of the lesser-known extreme metal artistes. Probably due to this early diet I now continue to have this love for the genre. Over the past two years, however, I have become more engaged by old school industrial music, EBM, goth rock, darkwave, synth-pop, punk, indie, Riot Grrrl... and so my taste continues to grow and evolve. For now, I'll name some of my all-time favorite bands and artists... KISS, Motley Crue, Marilyn Manson, Madonna, Tool, A Perfect Circle, Nirvana, Tori Amos, Incubus, Borknagar, Emperor, Old Man's Child, Opeth, Katatonia, Theatre of Tragedy, Skinny Puppy, Ministry, Nine Inch Nails, Gary Numan, Siouxsie & the Banshees, Joy Division, Sisters of Mercy, Fields of the Nephilim, KMFDM, VNV Nation, Paradise Lost, My Dying Bride, Deicide, Cannibal Corpse, Napalm Death, Symphony X, Morbid Angel, Sepultura...

I'm into Western Philosophy (particularly Nietszche and Sartre), Sociology & Psychology, History, Religion & Spirituality, the Occult... but I'll stop listing what I'm into right about here. :P

Inspired by the dandies I idolize, I attempt to employ stylishness in my daily life, whether it's through talking to others casually, responding to an attack made my another person or taking decisions both tactical and strategical. I use the word 'style' here not as superficially as many might, for it refers not necessarily to the conventional concept of decorum and 'proper behavior', if you will. Style is about drawing a portrait of myself all the time, the canvas being anyone and everyone I integrate into my daily activities, even for less than a minute. It's about expression and wit, embedding, nay, inscribing my soul into the very essence of everything that I love. Making it untouchable, unbreakable, magical, almost spiritual.

I believe that everyone can appear to be beautiful if they allow themselves to see the ugliness, and the darkness about them first... and to embrace it. I think if you befriend your demons, revel in their charm and dress yourself in their magic, dance with yourself... you have learned to love yourself. And then you will shine.

This is really the best I can offer, for now. Hopefully I'll be allowed to join the community and get to know you all soon enough. :)</cut>
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